I don't imagine anyone is still reading as I haven't posted here in almost a year, but thought it would be a good idea to pop in.
To catch up on the last eleven months in 60 seconds...
- got pregnant, was petrified to lose the baby (so you don't have to skip to the end - baby is here! healthy and happy!)
- was very sick for the first 20 weeks - threw up after every single meal and sometimes in between for good measure. smiled every single time i was sick. honestly. why? because i was pregnant, i was throwing up becuase there was a reason to and i knew the baby was alive. suck it infertility! i'm sure there are many of you that completely understand this
- around week 22 i was able to hold some meals down. i also got ridiculously busy with work. spent the better part of two months living in dc during the week working from the time i woke up until the time i passed out in my hotel room
- week 30-ish we decided life wasn't exiting enough so we tore up the back yard, put in a new retianing wall, patio and landscaping, worked on the baby's nursery, redid the bathroom and put on a family room addition. no ladders for me but my OB did okay scaffolding....we did the majority of the work ourselves
- july 31st - go on leave from work, baby isn't due for two more weeks and i think that i have a ton of time
- august 3rd - surprise! that really is your water breaking!
- agusut 4th - we welcomed our beautiful daughter, Amelia, to the world
Amelia is just over three months now and is wonderful! We are so in love with her.
was that more that 60 seconds? i didn't time it
When she was born I didn't think that I wanted to do a blog about her, not sure why, I was just kind of keeping it all to myself. The problem with that is that I start to forget the little things. Little stories I want her to know about. Things that may not be important to anyone else, but I don't want to forget. I've written a few things down but it just doesn't seem good enough. So, I started another blog. I'm not quite sure what will be there. I've started off telling Amelia her story. The posts are written to her, but not all will be.
If you're interested, feel free to join us :)
http://rathernotforget.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
second ultrasound
Getting nervous...
Get to the hospital early. I'm beyond excited for this part - I get to meet my best friend's brand new son! He is beautiful and everyone is doing great. We spend a few minutes with them and then it's time to run upstairs for our appointment.
The tech calls me back. K waits patiently in the waiting room. The ultrasound starts and she's clicking away. I swear they all have such a great poker face! I guess they have to. click click click I work up some nerve and ask if the baby is still in there. Yep, still there! click click click Then! ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum I feel little tears in the corners of my eyes. So, I ask - is that the heartbeat? Yes! I am beyond relieved!
The tech goes back to get K from the waiting room. I can't stop smiling. When they are back she turns the screen to us. I can totally see the baby! He looks huge! Then, she points out his little heart flashing away and turns on the sound. I don't think I've ever seen my husband happier!
A few minutes later we're sitting in a consult room with my favorite nurse. She gives us a couple of the us pictures. I love them! The baby's heartbeat is 140bpm. She tells us that this is very strong and we should be happy. I'm also measuring right at 7 weeks. Then, she explains our next steps - we're released and need to make and appointment with a regular OB. Yikes! That's bittersweet. I really don't want to leave the practice. She also gives us a package of cookies with a note of congratulations and my due date - August 16th :)
Get to the hospital early. I'm beyond excited for this part - I get to meet my best friend's brand new son! He is beautiful and everyone is doing great. We spend a few minutes with them and then it's time to run upstairs for our appointment.
The tech calls me back. K waits patiently in the waiting room. The ultrasound starts and she's clicking away. I swear they all have such a great poker face! I guess they have to. click click click I work up some nerve and ask if the baby is still in there. Yep, still there! click click click Then! ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum I feel little tears in the corners of my eyes. So, I ask - is that the heartbeat? Yes! I am beyond relieved!
The tech goes back to get K from the waiting room. I can't stop smiling. When they are back she turns the screen to us. I can totally see the baby! He looks huge! Then, she points out his little heart flashing away and turns on the sound. I don't think I've ever seen my husband happier!
A few minutes later we're sitting in a consult room with my favorite nurse. She gives us a couple of the us pictures. I love them! The baby's heartbeat is 140bpm. She tells us that this is very strong and we should be happy. I'm also measuring right at 7 weeks. Then, she explains our next steps - we're released and need to make and appointment with a regular OB. Yikes! That's bittersweet. I really don't want to leave the practice. She also gives us a package of cookies with a note of congratulations and my due date - August 16th :)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I'm out!
In a few hours I'll be done with work for the year! Between the dates that our office closes, our floating holidays and our scheduled Vegas vacation I won't be back in until January 12th. I'm beyond excited! I don't even know if I'll remember where my office is :)
I just wanted to pop on and wish everyone the best!
I just wanted to pop on and wish everyone the best!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
so far so good
My ultrasound was yesterday. Still pregnant and everything looked good even though there wasn't much to see. I'm feeling relieved and looking forward to the next one.
On to the appointment. K and I got there about fifteen minutes early. I was anxious. I was worried about what we were going to see but I also had to run from the appointment straight back to work because I was booked with meetings that day. Meetings that I absolutely could not miss. I had no idea what I would have done if we got bad news. Thankfully this wasn't an issue. Right on time my name was called. K and I got up and the tech asked him to stay in the waiting room. She wanted to get some measurements and then would call him back. Hmm.
In the room. The tech is clicking away and moving the cam around but not saying anything. I'm thinking good thoughts and praying. Finally, she asks if this is my first pregnancy. Caught off guard, I stumble over my words a bit but tell her that I was pregnant last year but this is the first that's made it to an ultrasound. Silence again. I decide to just go for it and ask if she sees anything. Yes, she explains that this early there isn't much to see but she can see the sac and it did implant in the right place. Yay! I ask about the heartbeat. No heartbeat she says but explains that it's way too early, not to worry. She asks if I'd like to see the monitor or wait for my husband. I'll wait.
A few minutes later the tech comes back in with K. He looks anxious too. I smile at him and I can see him relax. The tech explains the same thing to him - implanted in the right place but not much to see this early on. Then, she turns the monitor to us. I don't see anything. Then, I see a little black oval. That's our baby!
After I'm dressed we sit down with the nurse for our next steps. I thought I was closer to 5w4-5d but I'm measure at 5w1d. This is fine, she explains. They want me back in 7-10 days for another ultrasound. The nurse explains that at the next appointment that would expect to see the yolk sac and fetal pole. She mentions that they may see a heartbeat but it may also be a little too early so not to worry. I schedule my next appointment for eleven days - Dec 30th. I'm hoping the see the heartbeat but will be okay if we don't. I just hope that everything is progressing. K and I keep joking that slow and steady wins the race :)
The most exciting part? We got two pictures of our little black oval! Currently residing on our fridge :)
On to the appointment. K and I got there about fifteen minutes early. I was anxious. I was worried about what we were going to see but I also had to run from the appointment straight back to work because I was booked with meetings that day. Meetings that I absolutely could not miss. I had no idea what I would have done if we got bad news. Thankfully this wasn't an issue. Right on time my name was called. K and I got up and the tech asked him to stay in the waiting room. She wanted to get some measurements and then would call him back. Hmm.
In the room. The tech is clicking away and moving the cam around but not saying anything. I'm thinking good thoughts and praying. Finally, she asks if this is my first pregnancy. Caught off guard, I stumble over my words a bit but tell her that I was pregnant last year but this is the first that's made it to an ultrasound. Silence again. I decide to just go for it and ask if she sees anything. Yes, she explains that this early there isn't much to see but she can see the sac and it did implant in the right place. Yay! I ask about the heartbeat. No heartbeat she says but explains that it's way too early, not to worry. She asks if I'd like to see the monitor or wait for my husband. I'll wait.
A few minutes later the tech comes back in with K. He looks anxious too. I smile at him and I can see him relax. The tech explains the same thing to him - implanted in the right place but not much to see this early on. Then, she turns the monitor to us. I don't see anything. Then, I see a little black oval. That's our baby!
After I'm dressed we sit down with the nurse for our next steps. I thought I was closer to 5w4-5d but I'm measure at 5w1d. This is fine, she explains. They want me back in 7-10 days for another ultrasound. The nurse explains that at the next appointment that would expect to see the yolk sac and fetal pole. She mentions that they may see a heartbeat but it may also be a little too early so not to worry. I schedule my next appointment for eleven days - Dec 30th. I'm hoping the see the heartbeat but will be okay if we don't. I just hope that everything is progressing. K and I keep joking that slow and steady wins the race :)
The most exciting part? We got two pictures of our little black oval! Currently residing on our fridge :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
can't concentrate anymore!
Yikes! Tomorrow is our first ultrasound. I'm so excited/nervous/anxious/whatever that I'm having a difficult time concentrating on work this afternoon. It doesn't help that I only have three more days of work left.
Our appointment is a ten tomorrow morning. I still feel like I'm pregnant and will be honestly surprised if I'm not. Maybe that's what scares me the most. I've tried so hard to be realistic while still being a little bit positive, but now I'm just positive. I'm not really listening to the realistic voice inside my head and I'll be taken off guard if there is a problem. Bottom line worrying right now will not change anything so I'm not going to worry.
Our appointment is a ten tomorrow morning. I still feel like I'm pregnant and will be honestly surprised if I'm not. Maybe that's what scares me the most. I've tried so hard to be realistic while still being a little bit positive, but now I'm just positive. I'm not really listening to the realistic voice inside my head and I'll be taken off guard if there is a problem. Bottom line worrying right now will not change anything so I'm not going to worry.
Monday, December 15, 2008
calming down
Thank you for the congratulations and well wishes, I really do appreciate them :)
I'm starting to relax and calm down a little bit. I actually told my husband this week that I thought we could be pregnant. I'm feeling much more like my old self - positive. I still understand that lots of things could happen. At this point I'm doing everything that I am supposed to, but I have no control over anything else. I just need to stay positive, telling myself that everything is going to be fine and if it's not I'll have to deal with it then. Getting myself all worked up now will do absolutely nothing.
Physically I'm doing good. I'm a little bit more tired, but laying down for a few minutes after work helps. My boobs are incredibly sore - if I accidentally roll over on them it the middle of the night it will wake me up. I have some mild cramping and the last few days I've been nauseous. In fact, this morning driving to work I smelled some exhaust fumes from a big truck and I gagged for the next ten minutes, still nauseous from that one. Not complaining at all! I can take whatever this pregnancy can throw at me as long and I can have a healthy baby at the end of it :)
I'm starting to relax and calm down a little bit. I actually told my husband this week that I thought we could be pregnant. I'm feeling much more like my old self - positive. I still understand that lots of things could happen. At this point I'm doing everything that I am supposed to, but I have no control over anything else. I just need to stay positive, telling myself that everything is going to be fine and if it's not I'll have to deal with it then. Getting myself all worked up now will do absolutely nothing.
Physically I'm doing good. I'm a little bit more tired, but laying down for a few minutes after work helps. My boobs are incredibly sore - if I accidentally roll over on them it the middle of the night it will wake me up. I have some mild cramping and the last few days I've been nauseous. In fact, this morning driving to work I smelled some exhaust fumes from a big truck and I gagged for the next ten minutes, still nauseous from that one. Not complaining at all! I can take whatever this pregnancy can throw at me as long and I can have a healthy baby at the end of it :)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
where do I start?
At the beginning I guess.
No secret that I've been avoiding this blog and posting to it. I guess I was just trying to forget about infertility for a while. I'll pause for the laughing to stop :) You cannot just forget about infertility, at least, I, can't. Just not possible. But posting here was making me kind of sad - I didn't feel like I had much to offer or anything new to share. Maybe that's the best way to describe it - I weighed the pros and cons of creating a new post and was happier when I decided not to. That's not to say that I don't like this blog - it has been great. I've been able to get my thoughts out of my head. I'm able to read other fantastic blogs and have received so much wonderful support that I just want to cry and give everyone a hug. I hope I've been able to give support too.
Here's a quick rundown of what we've been up to - started the met and prolo.del in September - had a completely normal 29 day cycle! Woo! I think the nurse was just as surprised as I was. Spoke with my RE - he thought everything looked great and started me on clo.mid in addition to the other meds. Took clo.mid and became violently ill. I almost wound up in the hospital dehydrated. The jury is still out if I had a stomach flu with terrible timing or it was the result of the clo.mid. Start OPKs and wasn't able to detect a surge. Go in for an ultrasound and blood work - got the call that I should O the next day. Also, RE wants to do an IUI, thinks it is our best chance. My husband and I agree so the next day (Sunday, Nov 23) we head in to the office for our first IUI.....
I'll be damned, the first IUI worked! Am pregnant! Seriously.
I was working out of town last week. Got home Friday night and told my husband that I had a crazy desire to pee on a stick. He wanted me to just relax and wait for Saturday. I couldn't do that. So, I tested and got a positive! Didn't believe it. Saturday morning I tested again (3 tests, 2 different brands, yes am crazy) and all came out positive. Still think this is crazy talk. Sunday morning I had only intended to take one test (God bless cheap tests from the internet) but at 5 in the morning (when I couldn't hold it anymore) the positive line didn't look quite as dark as I wanted it. So, I took two more tests. And then one more for good measure. All four were positive. No longer think this is crazy talk, eight positive tests have convinced me, am now petrified.
I schedule my beta test for Tuesday morning. Beta comes back at 65. The nurse has to tell me several times that this is pregnant. Not maybe. I am pregnant. I don't know. I would have felt better if the number would have been 267.
Went for second beta this morning. Beta comes back at 121. I panic because this is not double. I understand simple math. I'm addicted to Big Brain Academy. The nurse assures me that it's fine. They are happy to see an increase anywhere from 80-100%. She reminds me again that I'm pregnant. Yikes!
My first ultrasound is scheduled for next Friday. I keep reminding myself that today I am pregnant. I just hope I stay that way...
No secret that I've been avoiding this blog and posting to it. I guess I was just trying to forget about infertility for a while. I'll pause for the laughing to stop :) You cannot just forget about infertility, at least, I, can't. Just not possible. But posting here was making me kind of sad - I didn't feel like I had much to offer or anything new to share. Maybe that's the best way to describe it - I weighed the pros and cons of creating a new post and was happier when I decided not to. That's not to say that I don't like this blog - it has been great. I've been able to get my thoughts out of my head. I'm able to read other fantastic blogs and have received so much wonderful support that I just want to cry and give everyone a hug. I hope I've been able to give support too.
Here's a quick rundown of what we've been up to - started the met and prolo.del in September - had a completely normal 29 day cycle! Woo! I think the nurse was just as surprised as I was. Spoke with my RE - he thought everything looked great and started me on clo.mid in addition to the other meds. Took clo.mid and became violently ill. I almost wound up in the hospital dehydrated. The jury is still out if I had a stomach flu with terrible timing or it was the result of the clo.mid. Start OPKs and wasn't able to detect a surge. Go in for an ultrasound and blood work - got the call that I should O the next day. Also, RE wants to do an IUI, thinks it is our best chance. My husband and I agree so the next day (Sunday, Nov 23) we head in to the office for our first IUI.....
I'll be damned, the first IUI worked! Am pregnant! Seriously.
I was working out of town last week. Got home Friday night and told my husband that I had a crazy desire to pee on a stick. He wanted me to just relax and wait for Saturday. I couldn't do that. So, I tested and got a positive! Didn't believe it. Saturday morning I tested again (3 tests, 2 different brands, yes am crazy) and all came out positive. Still think this is crazy talk. Sunday morning I had only intended to take one test (God bless cheap tests from the internet) but at 5 in the morning (when I couldn't hold it anymore) the positive line didn't look quite as dark as I wanted it. So, I took two more tests. And then one more for good measure. All four were positive. No longer think this is crazy talk, eight positive tests have convinced me, am now petrified.
I schedule my beta test for Tuesday morning. Beta comes back at 65. The nurse has to tell me several times that this is pregnant. Not maybe. I am pregnant. I don't know. I would have felt better if the number would have been 267.
Went for second beta this morning. Beta comes back at 121. I panic because this is not double. I understand simple math. I'm addicted to Big Brain Academy. The nurse assures me that it's fine. They are happy to see an increase anywhere from 80-100%. She reminds me again that I'm pregnant. Yikes!
My first ultrasound is scheduled for next Friday. I keep reminding myself that today I am pregnant. I just hope I stay that way...
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